By Karen Lee, LCPC, CSAT, CMAT and Nathan Krahn, LCPC, CSAT, CMAT
Karen Lee, a former employee of AGAPE Counseling, can be reached at 309-826-2593, located at 712 E. Empire in Bloomington.
Sexual addiction (sometimes called hypersexuality, sexual dependency, or sexual compulsivity) has received attention from the media in recent years as celebrities and politicians have had their secret lives exposed. In any given evening, the nightly news shares yet another story of scandal, sex, and shame. So, what are we really talking about? What is sex addiction?
The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) defines sex addiction as “a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others.”
Addiction is an illness of escape: Addicts can temporarily relieve pain or anxiety by self-medicating with a drug of their choice. Over time, they develop a tolerance and need something more to feel “normal.” This something more can lead to a greater frequency, higher intensity, or more risky behavior. This pattern of behavior, which is widely recognized in alcoholics or thosea addicted to other drugs, proceeds in the same way for individuals who are addicted to sex. Sex is the drug of choice and becomes the “high.” Addicts become dependent on sex to feel good.
Please note that sex addiction does not discriminate. People from all walks of life can be addicts: clergy, doctors, teachers, attorneys, bankers, homemakers, politicians, executives, salespersons, therapists, farmers, just to name a few.
Some behaviors that have become problematic for both men and women include:
- Pornography
- Compulsive masturbation
- Compulsive relationships
- Chronic affairs
- Exhibitionism (exposing oneself)
- Voyeurism (“peeping Toms”)
- Anonymous sex
- Prostitution
- Massage parlors
- Sexting
No single behavior defines sex addiction. However, these behaviors can potentially take control of a person’s life and become unmanageable or cause negative consequences. Professional help should be sought when one knows he/she can’t stop despite negative consequences.
The good news is help is available! There is hope to stop what you’re doing, even if you’ve repeatedly tried to stop before. Recovery from sex addiction can be a reality. The first step is to admit that there is a problem and that outside help is needed.
“Much hope exists for addicts and their families. Sex addicts have shown an ability to transform a life of self-destruction into a life of self-care, a life in chaos and despair into one of confidence and peace.”
— Dr. Patrick Carnes.
If you’re looking for hope and healing for yourself, a family member, or a friend, AGAPE Counseling has Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) in each of our three offices, centrally located in Peoria, Morton, and Bloomington. Please visit our website www.agapecounselors.net or give our office a call. Additional recommendations include: www.sexhelp.com, where you will find screening tools and helpful materials; as well as 12-step programs that encourage recovery.
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