By Carol Merna, Executive Director, Center for Prevention of Abuse
“Call for help!” Erin yelled at her younger sister sitting in the passenger seat next to her. What had her terrified was her ex-boyfriend, Sam. He was trying to get her to pull over, but coming so close to her car that they thought they were going to have a wreck.
Though they had a rocky dating relationship for about a year, Erin had not returned any of Sam’s calls or texts for about two weeks. She was trying to break away, and he was irate. Following her car and honking lasted for what seemed like a lifetime until the police were able to catch up to them. The well-meaning officers chalked this behavior up to hijinks and sent Sam on his way. However, the brief law enforcement presence only gave Erin a short break from Sam. An hour later, he was back to calling or texting her every 20 minutes.
This kind of abusive dating relationship is not rare. Statistics show nearly one-third of teens who date suffer from some form of violence in their relationships. That added up to 1.5-million high school students in the United States alone last year. Resources continue to expand to help children avoid becoming the victim of dating violence during their teenage years, but parental support is crucial.
Teen dating violence can come in many forms, including physical and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and through stalking. The highest rate of intimate partner violence is reported by girls or young women between the ages of 16 and 24.
Sadly, only one-third of teens found to be in an abusive relationship told anybody about the abuse. There are, however, ways parents and other adults can try to prevent abuse in their teens’ lives. LoveisRespect.org is leading the push to raise awareness of teen relationship abuse by promoting February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. The group lists several warning signs that teens might be the victims of abuse:
- Unexplained marks or bruises
- Your child’s partner is extremely jealous or possessive
- Your child’s partner e-mails or texts excessively
- Your child is depressed or anxious
- Your child stops spending time with friends and family or participating in extracurricular activities
If any of these signs are apparent, then parents are urged to talk to their children about their concerns and to discuss what a healthy relationship looks like and why these traits are not normal. The most important thing is to be supportive and understanding, and let your teen know you are on their side and that no one deserves to be abused. It is ultimately up to the teen to decide to end the relationship, but setting them up with necessary tools like hearing them, validating their feelings, and creating a safety plan is critical for them to bring an end to the violence and abuse in their lives.
The Center for Prevention of Abuse is here to help all residents of Central Illinois who are victims of violence and abuse. We have emergency domestic violence shelters in both Peoria and Pekin to offer a safe haven for someone trying to escape an abusive situation. Our counselors help clients with safety planning and setting goals for a brighter future.
We also offer Prevention Education classes in schools throughout Peoria, Tazewell, and Woodford County. Our teen dating violence awareness programming teaches teens how to define healthy and unhealthy relationships, gives warning signs for dating abuse and teaches them how to develop a safety plan. Furthermore, our prevention educators let teens know how to help a friend who may been involved in an abusive relationship.
Our Teen Dating Violence programming continues to grow into more schools each year. The number of students who attended our sessions grew 53 percent in the last year, and the goal is to see further expansion this school year.
To schedule a Teen Dating Violence Program, call The Center for Prevention of Abuse at 309-691-0551. If you are a victim of abuse and need our help, call our emergency hotline at 1-800-559-SAFE(7233).