Do you only think of a survivor as one who has been in a traumatic situation and has been spared physical harm or death? They are certainly survivors of that event, but that is not the only kind of a survivor. Vehicle and industrial accidents, hurricanes, typhoons, and all violent acts of nature leave people shivering in fear as to what happened to their homes, their community, or the world around them.
There are many faces of “survivors.” This year, 2016, November 19 is set aside for us to remember the annual National Survivors of Suicide Day.
This day is not set aside, first of all, to remember those who have tried to commit suicide and, by God’s grace, have been spared. Although these people have to live with a traumatized past, this day, November 19, is set aside to remember and encourage those who live with the memory, and perhaps stigma, of having a close friend or family member commit suicide.
Sen. Harry Reed, who experienced his father’s suicide, challenged the United States Congress to set apart one day a year to remember this kind-of survivor.
Throughout the U.S., there will be programs that pull survivors together to share each other’s grief of loss.
Earlier this year, I sat across from a sobbing husband and near hysterical wife who had experienced a sudden loss in their family. They heard the exploding gun in their son’s room and they ran in to see him with a fatal self-inflicted wound.
- It was not real — yet it was real!
- They knew he was dead — they couldn’t believe that he was dead.
- They knew that he did it himself — they couldn’t believe that he did it.
Neither father or mother could see the reality of the death although they recognized the finality of his life.
Two years ago, another couple sat with me as they tried to understand the suicide death of their bi-polar daughter. She had not had her needed medicine for a couple of weeks and when her best friend’s mom died, they were sure that their daughter felt as if life had ended for her. The family had no warning from her that she would or could consider taking her own life.
I work with the family and friends of those who have experience a loss by suicide, I help them as they face questions such as, “How could this person do something so terrible, and how could they do something that hurt us so badly?” This is one of the first questions and statements made by survivors.
If you have experienced this kind of loss, I need to remind you, as I remind others, that committing suicide is never a rational decision. It is irrational! The logic of taking one’s life is based on illogical assumptions.
Depression, bipolar disorder, P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and other disorders can trigger irrational thought processes.
When individuals are traumatized by catastrophic personal situations or challenging events of nature, they are confused and they have neither the capability nor capacity to rationally choose to end their life.
One other question that most people ask is, “What will happen to those who take their own life?”
This question is a religious question because most religions teach that it is a sin for a person to take their own life.
Perhaps every survivor asks this question because they know that the one who committed suicide will have no chance to go to confession or to pray and ask for forgiveness.
Let me encourage all survivors with a brief statement about the Bible and God. Only one reason is stated for God rejecting someone and that is if the person rejects Him. There is no special punishment for those who commit suicide.
Lee Baas, a psychologist, works with WITS (Walking In Their Shoes) International. They provide free supportive psychological services on-site to those who are doing humanitarian service internationally. For more information, visit online at www.witsinternational.com.