By Howard Love, LCPC, CSAT, CMAT, The Antioch Group
Resilience is central to learning to cope with difficulties and challenges that each teaches us important lessons about ourselves. Resilient people do not let adversity define them. They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain, grief, and trauma. The essence of resilience is learning from the challenges.
One combat veteran from Vietnam described his view of resilience as not being defined by the trauma the experience caused in his life: “When I left the Army, I separated physically from Vietnam. As I progressed through my college education I tried to bring about a mental separation as well. It proved to be significantly more difficult. Each year, as my interests and intellect expanded, I increased the mental distance between Vietnam and myself. I recognized the power and influence the war would have over me for the rest of my life, but I did not want Vietnam to be all of me. I did not want Vietnam to destroy my life after I had survived so much.”
Whether it is trauma from combat, a divorce, loss of a job, or any other serious life challenge, developing emotional resilience is the key. The following traits are common to those with resilience:
- They develop healthy internal boundaries. They understand there is a separation between who they are at their core and the cause of their suffering.
- They develop close friendships. Resilient people surround themselves with other trustworthy and resilient people. Supportive and understanding friends are priceless.
- They cultivate self-awareness. Self-awareness helps us get in touch with our emotional and psychological needs.
- They practice radical acceptance. Pain is painful, stress is stressful, and healing takes time. Acceptance is not giving up, it is leaning into the experience and trusting you will bounce back.
- They practice self-care. This includes a healthy diet, exercise, a balanced social life, and, for many, practicing their faith.
To move from surviving to thriving requires an intentional, goal-directed life plan that advances in spite of obstacles, difficulties, and discouragement. As you incorporate authenticity, humility, and integrity into your daily life you can begin to exercise the core traits of emotional resilience.
Howard Love is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at the Antioch Group. He specializes in working with veterans and those who suffer from PTSD. If you need help, or know someone who does, call today. To find out more information, please visit www.antiochgroup.com or 309-692-6622.
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