Greater Peoria Metro Area, IL

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How to Honor a Veteran

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By Howard A. Love, LCPC, CSAT, CMAT

November is the month we celebrate not only Thanksgiving, but also the military veterans that have faithfully defended our freedoms and way of life. As we pause to honor our veterans, it is vital that we remember their commitment and sacrifice. Many veterans suffer with emotional wounds from their time in combat. Their condition is referred to as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Ask any veteran how life is after war, and many will tell you it has left an indelible image on the canvas of their minds. Some will tell you “their war” has never ended. Others will not even talk about it because they feel no one would really understand unless they had been there, too.

Like Vietnam, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan has no front lines; you could be attacked at any time, from anywhere, by those who may not even appear to be combatants. This presents many challenges that deeply affect personal values and decision-making. Images of death, destruction, and chaos often create symptoms of stress that take on a life of their own.


The following is a short list of PTSD symptoms:

  • Depression
  • Cynicism and mistrust of government and authority
  • Anger
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Negative self-image
  • Hyper-vigilance
  • Survivor guilt

According to the best research, relief of such symptoms involves the following: group therapy (talking it out with those who have been there), writing it out (telling the essence of the story), EMDR, and physical activity (this can release tension and stress). These methods yield the best results when they are incorporated into an organized treatment process. There are no quick fixes, but over time, healing can take place.

So what can friends and family do to support a combat veteran, and show respect and appreciation?  First, be a trustworthy, non-judgmental listener — a listener strong enough to hear the story. Being “freaked out” only triggers a veteran’s deeper emotional wounds. Respect is very important in that it also means refraining from judgment. Combat is filled with moral dilemmas that no one who has not “been there” has a place to judge. Kindness, compassion, and understanding help to create a climate of trust that positively affects the healing process.

PTSD is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances; that is, the chaos that is war. Listening, expressing empathy, and being aware of the veterans’ triggers are important in building trust and intimacy in the relationship. It is vital for a person with PTSD to feel supported and loved. The chances of this happening are better if the partner or family member understands, and is involved with them on their journey towards healing. Each veteran knows that they will be challenged upon their return from combat. The better equipped we are at home to work with them, the more we can make the difference in how well that re-adjustment goes.

Let’s join together — family, friends, and community — to honor and appreciate all those vets who have sacrificed so much that we may enjoy the things that we often take for granted.

Howard Love is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at the Antioch Group. He specializes in working with veterans and those who suffer from PTSD. If you need help, or know someone who does, call today. To find out more information, please visit www.antiochgroup.com, or 309-692-6622.

Photo credit: DanielBendjy/iStock