By Karen Greene, Therapist, Heart of Illinois Safe from The Start at The Center for Prevention of Abuse
Every year in the United States, over five million children are directly exposed to the traumatic effects of violence. A child’s exposure to violence can occur as a result of witnessing domestic violence; being a victim of abuse, neglect, or maltreatment; or witnessing or being a direct victim of community, school, or even media violence. The most common type of violence takes place in the home in the form of physical abuse or domestic violence.
Child’s Response to Trauma
Children often use dissociation and hypervigilance as defenses in response to trauma. They feel fear, confusion, guilt, anger, frustration, and worry. They worry about their own safety and feel responsible for the violence because they perceive everything in the world is related to them. Young children may often try to hide or keep very quiet watching television or playing computer games in an effort to escape their experiences and as a means of survival. They try to please the perpetrator or watch them carefully to anticipate violence. It is common for children exposed to violence to take on adult responsibilities very early. Whatever their response, it is clear that they know what is happening around them.
Research has demonstrated that a child’s brain development is significantly impacted by traumatic experiences. Even when a child is too young to speak and understand what is happening, they are impacted by the noise and tension. Parents who are in violent relationships are often emotionally unable to care for their young children. This can lead to poor parent/child attachment, which can have serious consequences later in life.
Effects of Early Exposure
Behavioral / emotional / physical effects of violence on children ages 0 to 5 can include:
- Temper tantrums and impulsivity
- Anxious, whining, or nervous behavior
- Depression
- Nightmares and difficulty sleeping
- Bedwetting
- Withdrawn behavior
- Behavioral problems
- Poor concentration
- Low self esteem
- Insecurity
- General developmental delays
- Asthma
- Eczema
- Eating disorders
- Headaches
- Stomach pains
- Feeding problems
There is Hope
Regardless of the type of violence, young children are remarkably resilient and parents can help by making their environment positive and violence-free. It is important that parents practice the following in their homes to help children begin to feel safe and free to express their feelings.
- Be patient
- Communicate — tell your child that the violence is never their fault
- Listen to your child and show that you understand that things are hard, scary, or frustrating for him/her
- Let your child cry and be sad if they need to
- Talk with your child about ways of showing feelings, especially safe ways of showing anger
- Reassure your child that it is okay to be angry; it’s just not okay to hurt anyone
- Don’t feel you have to always hide your own feelings, but let your child know that whatever you are feeling you will be okay
- Use toys and play type scenarios as ways for your child to name their feelings; playing together is very important
- Give your child lots of affection (hugs, cuddles, kisses)
- Give simple and truthful explanations and responses that suit your child’s age
- Safety, security, and stability are more important than finding them same sex role models
There is Help
Heart of Illinois Safe from the Start at The Center for Prevention of Abuse is a program working with children ages 0 to 5 that have been exposed to violence. For more information, contact Joni Lyons, Coordinator, Heart of Illinois Safe from the Start at 309-686-5229.
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