By Dr. Phillip J. Ladd, LCPC, Christian Psychological Associates
Self-esteem is a term used to reflect a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself, as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem includes beliefs such as “I am worthy,” or “I am confident.” Negative self-esteem could also include beliefs such as “I am a loser,” or “I am not loveable.” A person’s faith can also influence his or her self-esteem, both negatively and positively (depending on how he or she approaches his or her faith). Psalm 139: 14 says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Apparently, this writer had good self-esteem!
Some people think self-esteem is a state of mind. Having high self-esteem means having feelings of confidence, worthiness, and positive regard for yourself. People with high self-esteem feel good about themselves. They feel a sense of belonging and security. They respect themselves and appreciate others. They tend to have purpose in life and feel confident in various aspects of their lives.
The amount of self-esteem that people have depends on many factors – how they were raised, parental attitudes that they either adopted or reacted to, life experiences, etc. Abraham Maslow, in his hierarchy of human needs, describes the “need for esteem,” which is seen in achievement, status, responsibility, and reputation. In his Hierarchy of Needs, he believes that we must satisfy each need in turn, starting with the first (which deals with basic survival), and then move our way up towards the top of the pyramid, “self-actualization.” However, some people are stuck in various levels and never get to their positive esteem needs. Effort is needed to avoid staying stuck.
Good self-care can also affect one’s level of self-esteem. Just walking for twenty to thirty minutes a day enhances a person’s mood, which can positively affect one’s self-esteem. Positive self-talk can also help improve one’s self-esteem. Believe it or not, I often encourage my clients to talk to themselves. As they say, “You are not crazy if you talk to the wall. You are only crazy if you believe that the wall talks back to you.” Often, people with low self-esteem believe negative things about themselves, such as, “I do everything wrong,” or “I am never good enough,” etc. I encourage them to change those negative thoughts to positive ones. Sometimes, working on remembering when and how they developed the negative thoughts can be helpful. Self-esteem will improve as they begin seeing themselves in more positive ways. They need to learn to catch themselves when they revert to their negative thought patterns. However, with continued effort, they can begin to feel more positive about themselves, which in turn, improves self-esteem.
With Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, one does not ever reach the top level of “self-actualization.” However, the continued drive towards that level helps one find contentment in their journey of life. That is also true with positive self-esteem. We may never totally achieve perfect positive self-esteem, but the work and search towards the ideal will help our self-esteem to continue to improve in our journey of life.
For more information, contact John R. Day & Associates, Christian Psychological Associates, located at 3716 West Brighton Avenue, Peoria, or at their locations in Normal, Canton, Pekin, Princeton, or Eureka. Call us at (309) 692-7755 or visit us online: christianpsychological.org.
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