Teens in Crisis, Part I of II
If you’re reading this, you were intrigued by the headline. Perhaps you can relate to it. If so, I encourage you to read on with an open mind. My son was struggling. That’s not even the word. My son was careening. Careening off a road that I had tried my whole parenting life to keep him on. Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint where or how it started, or what the catalyst was that made it go from “just being a teenager” to “being a teenager in crisis.”
I saw it coming, though I never could have imagined how far it would go. He was a precocious child who tested me from a very early age; brilliant in his own right, and equally as headstrong. If there was a rule, he’d find a loophole in which to make him the exception.
Which was manageable when he was young. But once this bright young man hit high school — and 6’2” tall, his will and wiles began to go down a very dark path, that included not only behavioral and emotional issues, but substance abuse as well. And life in our home became a living hell.
I’d like to think that as a parent I left no stone unturned in trying to steer him the right way from an early age. We went to church regularly and I encouraged his participation in youth groups and volunteering. He did so begrudgingly at best. I searched to find mentors for him, whether it be a pastor, guidance counselor or friend, but those people all had their own lives to lead and none really stuck. I tried to stay consistent in my discipline, until it became clear he was able to manipulate me and the lies and the truth became indecipherable. I sought help from numerous therapists to the point where he penned that he felt like a guinea pig. “Oppositional defiant disorder,” one said. “ADD,” another concluded. “Depressed mood?” another guessed. No one knew — and I didn’t either. All I could see was that my beautiful boy was slowly slipping away from me and into a world that I knew I couldn’t get him out of alone.
It’s a horrible day when a parent gets to that place. It’s the realization that no one in your circle can help you. No one has the answers. You’re literally at a total loss, and every day brings a new panic. His dad and I were desperate for help, and truly felt if we didn’t find it that the unimaginable could and would happen to our son.
In desperation, I began searching the Internet. Maybe there was a program out there that could help us. We had tossed around the phrase “boarding school,” but to me that sounded like a bunch of uniform-clad prepsters playing lacrosse on a historic, brick campus. Certainly not a place we could afford, nor what he needed. I finally came upon the term “therapeutic boarding school,” and that Google search was the click that began a chain of events that changed the course of our lives and that of our son.
Check back next month for Part 2 of this article and more information on therapeutic boarding schools and other programs that aid teens and families in crisis.
If you would like to contact the author of this article, please email Cheryl Eash, editor and publisher of this magazine, at ceash7@gmail.com and she will put you in touch with her.
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