By Steve Benner, Mental Health Awareness Trainer, The Center for Human Services
It’s that time of the year again, when we’re all supposed to be full of good cheer and unlimited joy. I get it, I really do. And, with everything we’ve gone through this past year, we can certainly use a time to set aside differences and celebrate what we have in common and the values we hold dear.
For many of us, however, the holiday season is tough. There are pressures to overspend on gifts that may or may not bring momentary joy. We are expected to get together with family and others whom we rarely see at any other time of the year. And the days are getting shorter and the nights darker.
The holidays can be a challenge for all of us, but especially for those of us living with mental health challenges. We might be wondering how we’ll keep sober when everybody else is downing cups of rum-laced eggnog. We might be dreading having to spend hours cooped up inside with the same relatives who trigger some of our worst reactions. We might be looking at a pile of bills that won’t get paid this month just so our kids can get a few presents from Santa.
Whatever the challenge, it’s best to address it head-on now and not let it fester. The longer we try to ignore our mental (and physical) health challenges, the greater the unintended side effects.
I encourage you to put yourself first this holiday season. It can be okay to refuse to attend social gatherings if they are going to cause you anxiety. It can be good to refuse to join your family for Christmas dinner if it always ends in a verbal or physical brawl that triggers your survival instincts. No celebration of this season should result in your sitting huddled in a corner wishing for it all to stop.
Do whatever you must to take care of yourself. Make it a point to see your therapist, even if you’re feeling okay. Maybe you and they can talk over strategies to get through the challenges ahead this month. Skip the family holiday celebrations and go on vacation instead. After losing my mother to cancer earlier this year, I decided that I needed not to do Christmas in the United States and I booked a vacation in Italy. While they will be celebrating the holiday there, too, I will hopefully not be surrounded by all the trappings of an American Christmas.
Whatever it takes, put yourself first this holiday season. Living your best possible life could be the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Steve Benner is a Mental Health Awareness Trainer at the Center for Human Services in Bloomington, Illinois. Trainings include QPR Suicide Prevention Training, Mental Health First Aid, both for adults and for adults who work with youth, and the Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). Go to mcchs.org and click on Services for more details on upcoming trainings.