Quad Cities, IL/IA

Working with the community... for a healthier community.

Parenting the Parent


By Marcie Durian, Senior Resource Specialist, LivWell Seniors, LLC

As I look back on my 15+ years helping families navigate through the healthcare system, as well as transitioning their loved ones from home to senior care, I realize how easy it was for me to work with other people’s loved ones. I also see how difficult it has been, in some ways, this past month transitioning my own father-in-law from being 100 percent independent, down to driving at 91 years old, to being hospitalized, transferring to skilled care, and finally to memory care assisted living. I have a whole new perspective on what it is to be one of the family members who is trying to manage the paperwork, the moving, and the emotional toll that can take place on the loved one that is transitioning, as well as on their children who have to come to the realization that their parent is failing in physical and cognitive health in some way. It’s easy as someone on the outside to refer to some family members as being in denial of what is happening with their loved ones when they are hesitant to transition the parent, even when it is best for their safety and wellbeing. I had a nurse put it into perspective for me as I was feeling that some in my family were in denial regarding my father-in-law, when she said, “You have to remember that this is their father, and he has been so fortunate to be healthy and independent for this long. That is what his children know, and to have this sudden change in health and memory overnight, it is hard to adapt to, as well as to accept as real and as the new normal.” I will never forget those words from that blessed nurse who put it into perspective for me as a healthcare professional, and we would love to help any family have these transitional conversations while their loved one is still independent and can also participate. LivWell Seniors Resource Specialists can be there for you before, during, and after the transitioning of your loved one, and we are a phone call away!

LivWell Seniors serves as a local agency providing community-based resources that are 100-percent free to seniors and their families as they are funded by the senior care providers that utilize their service and network of connections. For further information, contact us at 563-265-1577, or visit our website at www.livwellseniors.com. “ The gift of friendship…a willingness to listen, a pair of helping hands, a whisper from the heart. That someone cares and understands.”