By Judy Ronan Woodburn, Ph.D, Advocate Medical Group—Behavioral Health
While society often tells us that we should not get angry, anger is a normal human emotion. What is important for us is to learn to manage anger in healthy ways. This does not have to be difficult, and it can help us become healthier overall.
Common causes of anger include: frustration, hurt, annoyance, disappointment, harassment, threats, fatigue, and feeling overwhelmed. Anger does not actually make our “blood boil” or make us “see red,” but our bodies are affected. Physical reactions to anger include the release of adrenaline and other body chemicals into the bloodstream, the heart pumping faster, blood pressure rising, faster blood flow, and muscle tension. The body shifts into high gear, generating energy for needed action. The challenge is to learn how to use this energy in healthy ways to your advantage.
Many people are taught to ignore anger, but this can have many negative consequences, including health problems (e.g., high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, and stomach problems), accidents, tension and anxiety, relationship problems, depression, criminal behaviors, and abuse/violence.
Healthy strategies for managing anger include:
- Recognize common signs of anger. These may include muscle tension, being accident-prone, feeling frustrated or depressed, or the use of sarcasm.
- Identify the cause of your anger. This may or may not be obvious. For example, you yell at your friend when you are actually upset at someone else for forgetting about a date.
- Decide what to do. Take positive steps to resolve the problem that caused your anger. Try not to let angry feelings linger and fester.
- Calm down before you discuss issues. Shouting just tends to lead to more shouting. Take a temporary time out to calm down, if needed.
- Be assertive, not aggressive. Express yourself firmly and clearly. Do not get personal—no insults, accusations, or name calling.
Communication, negotiation, and compromise are important.
- Use humor to help you change your perspective.
- Get physical. Physical activity—walking, biking, weight-lifting—can help dissipate the energy associated with anger.
- Get enough sleep and relaxation. When we are tired, we can get cranky.
- Learn relaxation skills such as deep breathing, meditation, and muscle relaxation.
- Write about your anger, then throw away the writing.
- If your anger is out of control, talk with a trusted friend or a counselor.
Anger managed in healthy ways can be motivating; it can help you reach goals, solve problems, and handle emergencies. Learn to make your anger work for you.
Judy Ronan Woodburn, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist with Advocate Medical Group—Behavioral Health, soon to be located in the Advocate BroMenn Outpatient Center, 3024 E. Empire St., Bloomington (across from the airport). She specializes in helping those who struggle with anxiety or depression, the effects of abuse, PTSD, eating disorders, grief, and various family/relationship issues. Appointments with Dr. Woodburn or another qualified counselor can be made by calling 1-800-3-ADVOCATE (1-800-323-8622).