Embracing the Body You Have

By Jenn Bovee, LCSW, CRADC, CCHt, EMDR Trained, The Mental Wellness Center

Most people are excited for the long-awaited departure of winter. However, for some, there is a feeling of dread at the prospect of ditching the layers of clothing that cover the personal war they have declared with their bodies. The anxiety for those who have less than a loving and accepting relationship with their body climbs with every increase in temperature.

We live in a very weight obsessed, diet focused culture. Spend 10 minutes on social media and you’ll begin to believe that if you would just subscribe to the right diet—low carb, no carb, paleo, raw foods, juice cleanse… the list is endless—then you will lose weight which in turn will solve all your problems and lead to supreme happiness. The message is clear that our bodies are not okay the way they are. I don’t endorse or condone any particular eating plan, however, I have a somewhat unique perspective on this issue. I want to help you learn to fall madly and deeply in love with the body that you have right now.

You can badger and belittle yourself into change and that will work for a period of time. However, at some point, that tactic loses the motivation for you to keep on changing and growing. True change comes from a place of acceptance. There are some techniques that have worked with our clients to help them accept and love the bodies they have. And in my experience, when people are treating their bodies with more kindness and acceptance, they are more successful at losing weight.

Our suggestions include:

1. Replace the Negative Diatribe With Positive Talk: This is one of the simultaneously most rewarding while also challenging actions we suggest. It’s challenging because so many of our negative thoughts are on automatic repeat that we aren’t even aware of them. Becoming aware of our negative thoughts can be a bit overwhelming in the beginning. However, the remedy is fairly simple. Each and every time you begin to experience a negative thought about your body, replace it with the positive opposite.
2. Focus on Your Strengths: Every single body has its own unique strengths. Identifying your “why” for wanting to change your relationship with your body will lead you down the path of recognizing your own strengths. Decluttering your mind from the garbage and poison you (and others) have fed yourself is an absolutely amazing experience. Making peace with yourself requires you to recognize everything that your body has supported and carried you through.
3. Embrace Emotional Resilience: Emotional resilience is a somewhat ambiguous concept, however, in the simplest terms, this includes increasing self-care, creating a gratitude routine, getting plenty of rest, managing your stress more effectively, and increasing your social support system. People who have engaged in all of these demonstrate a higher amount of emotional resilience compared to those who don’t.
4. Respect Your Body: For many people this is going to be such a foreign concept that it may feel a bit bewildering. Some ways to begin increasing the amount of respect you feel towards your body include giving yourself sincere compliments, stop comparing your body to the bodies of other people, talk back to the negative thoughts and don’t allow them any power, and wear clothes that are comfortable for you.
5. Offer Your Body Kindness: Again, this may feel very foreign for many of you. It’s important to remain mindful of this being a process and not an event. When offering your body kindness it’s important to find a way to check in with it. Some good rules of measurement are how would you treat your daughter if she were in your body, or how would you treat your best friend if she were in your body. Some other tools are to check in on things like sleep, hydration, rest, hunger, etc. When we are operating from a place of kindness, that means we are not starving or berating our bodies.

It is essential to remember that there is no such thing as a “perfect” body. Every living and breathing body has its own set of struggles that are not typically advertised. If you need help changing how you feel about your body, we can help.

     For help with this struggle, or any other mental wellness issue, contact The Mental Wellness Center at 309-807-5077 or e-mail info@TheMentalWellnessCenter.com. Their office is located at 205 N. Williamsburg Drive, Suite A, Bloomington, IL 61704. They are invested in empowering you to return to—or achieve, possibly for the first time ever—a state of complete mental wellness.