By Ron Maier, MA, LCPC
We call them New Year’s Resolutions, but you can choose to make changes for the better anytime in the year. The problem isn’t when you make resolutions; it’s following through. Hopefully the ideas that follow will help you do that.
What we’re talking about is changing habits — ways of behaving that we don’t think about, we just do. We can think about habits in two broad categories: improving physical health and wellness or life enrichment. Health and wellness habits are things like stopping smoking, losing weight, reducing drinking, exercising, changing diet, reducing stress, and getting more sleep. Life enrichment habits include learning something new, traveling more, spending more time with your partner, family and children, and volunteering.
An interesting and important aspect to consider is that some changes involve stopping something and some changes involve starting something. Each method requires a different strategy.
The first step is to be aware of your current behavior. For example, when do you smoke? Where do you smoke? What are you doing? Who are you with? This can help you come up with alternative choices, because you will need alternatives. Just discontinuing a behavior is not going to work. There has to be a replacement activity. If you smoke when you’re tense or upset, what are you going to do when the cigarettes are gone? Same goes with over-eating. When you stop eating ice cream or potato chips when you’re tense or bored, what do you want to do instead? Without something to put into that now empty space, either something unintended will replace it or you will slip back into the old pattern. So think ahead and look for some healthy options and be prepared to use them.
Starting a new behavior will require you to stop doing something else. If you want to travel, spend more time with family, or learn something new you will need to make time in your schedule. That might also mean not spending money on some things so it can be spent on travel or music lessons or special events with family. It might mean watching less TV or reading less so you have time to walk or bike or work out.
Changing any behavior has to be something that is important to you. Whatever your intended change is, the end result needs to be personal. Making the change for someone else won’t work. Why do you want to stop smoking? Do you want to feel better, be able to walk up stairs without gasping, or buy nicer clothes that you can now afford with the money you’ve saved? If you have been nagged or begged into starting a change program, do some careful thinking and find something that you want that can come out of this activity. If you don’t find some personal satisfaction, you will not follow through and maybe even sabotage the efforts of others.
When you’re tempted to slip back into an old habit, stop and take some deep breaths. Think of the hugs you got after a fun time with your kids or that new outfit you’re almost ready to buy. The part of your brain that’s involved in impulse control can become overwhelmed and not work well. After a thoughtful pause to remember your “why,” you can more easily make a decision that will keep you on track to meet your goal.
Ron Maier is a licensed counselor with over 30 years of experience in universities, a community behavioral health center, and private practice. He teaches several Community Education courses at Heartland Community College, including Eliminating Self-Defeating Behaviors, Creating the Life that You Want, and Free Yourself from Negative Emotions. For information on these classes, contact Community Education at 309-268-8160 or visit their website at www.heartland.edu/communityEd.
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