By Alaina M. Winters, Professor of Communication, Heartland Community College
In today’s world where people are attached to their cellphones and public discourse is more like a debate than a discussion, wouldn’t it be nice to have a space where you can truly and meaningfully connect with others? Attending a talking circle can make that happen.
Talking circles, also called “peacemaking circles,” come from the traditions of the indigenous people of North America, particularly tribes in the Midwest. A circle processes value equality between participants in both talking and listening, and one of the unique aspects of a talking circle is that the participants co-create guidelines to promote respectful sharing, reflection, and connection. A favorite guideline, although sometimes difficult to follow, is to put cellphones on silent.
In addition to co-creating guidelines, another unique characteristic that distinguishes talking circles from ordinary discussion is the use of a talking piece that regulates communication. The talking piece is a meaningful and symbolic object that the facilitator, also called the “circle keeper,” brings to the circle. Receiving it is an invitation to share with the group and helps ensure that everyone gets an opportunity to share at their own pace and in their own way without interruptions. Participants who do not have the talking piece get to listen and reflect upon what the person with the talking piece says. This process fosters mutual understanding and lays the groundwork for deeper, more meaningful discussion.
Because of the way talking circles are held, they are characterized by emotional safety, storytelling, ritual, and the revealing of deep and meaningful truths where people of different ages and backgrounds share their perspectives and wisdom and learn from one another. They can be used for family meetings, conflict situations, decision-making, community discussions, and even team meetings — any time that everyone’s knowledge and points of view are valued and desired.
Heartland Community College has recently begun sponsoring talking circles to help student and community member participants explore complex and important topics such as body image, divorce, parenting, compassion fatigue, and power and privilege. Although the questions can be deep and difficult, the talking circle process builds trust between participants, who become transformed by sharing their authentic personal stories and having them respectfully heard and acknowledged without judgment, condemnation, nor advice. The reflection and reverence experienced in talking circles helps fulfill our human need to be heard and seen, and the connections made can be positively life-changing, especially in a society where the opportunity to truly and meaningfully connect with others is so rare.
For more information on the upcoming talking circle, Body Image Beautiful, which will be offered this June at Heartland Community College, please contact Community Education at 309-268-8160.
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