By Jody Seip, LCSW
There is no average week in the life of a social worker. With 30 years of practice under my belt, I look toward each day as a new opportunity to help others help themselves. There is one factor I can count on. That is the impact of illness on a family. This illness takes on many forms including mental illness, chronic illness and acute illness. As a social worker, I was educated in the systems approach of family counseling. This means that I look at the impact of the environment on individuals and groups. Illness does not happen within isolation. It is a family affair. In a week of work, it is common for me to see families in distress related to divorce, mental illness, grief, marital conflict, lack of support, anger, denial, financial distress, and needing referrals to community resources.
Following are the top five issues in families impacted by a family illness:
- Denial: This surfaces in the effort of family members to minimize the illness of a loved one. “This can’t be happening to us.” This creates fear, a feeling of powerlessness, and procrastinating seeking medical or psychological help.
- Anger: This is a normal response in family members to a new reality. Often individuals will tell me that they are resentful of the time and resources required for treatment of the ill person. Anger is felt toward the demands of caregiving and the loss of the normal rhythm of the family routine.
- Relationship conflict: Often when a family member is suffering an illness, it is difficult for family members to agree on a course of action. Whether it is an aging parent, an ill spouse, or behavior issues in a child, marital conflict is a common outcome.
- Grief: This is an emotion that is not necessarily related to the loss of a family member to death. Grief can be experienced in any significant change. Roles within the family can be forever changed, there is often the loss of the familiar lifestyle, financial devastation can occur due to medical bills and loss of income, there no longer seems to be any “normal.” Family members can feel helpless and hopeless dealing with the illness of a family member.
- Isolation: This is perhaps one of the most damaging, yet common, outcomes of dealing with illness in a family member. Because of long held stigmas, shame, exhaustion, or depression, it is difficult to reach out to a support system. Social lives dwindle and some people remark that they no longer feel supported by their churches.
This is a community rich in resources for those struggling with illness within their family. There are need-driven services, which most people know nothing about until they are in crisis. Until we are educated in these support agencies, our feelings of hopelessness and helplessness will increase.
In my next article, we will explore the benefits of intergenerational counseling, which will assist the entire family in healing and finding a “new normal.”
For more information, contact Jody Seip at The ABLE Center at 309-661-8046. Jody, The ABLE Center staff and The ABLE Center founder, Dr. Jennifer Huffman, work closely together within one practice, as well as with other community providers, to help individuals and families across a life span. A multigenerational approach to help you or your child succeed at home, work and school.